


we are alive, here

by pilotpoison



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Good Sibling Klaus Hargreeves, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Being A Good Brother, No Apocalypse (Umbrella Academy), Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, Number Five | The Boy-centric, basically five gets the breakdown he deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25878523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pilotpoison/pseuds/pilotpoison
Summary: The Apocalypse was diverted, and Five finally gets to feel.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 12
Kudos: 614





	we are alive, here

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in one sitting and it’s unedited but,, it needs to be out so whatever
> 
> all i want is for five to have his much-deserved breakdown and get a hug

At 3:58 AM, Five shot awake from a restless sleep, his clothes sticking to him uncomfortably. He couldn’t remember what the nightmare was about, but he couldn’t shake the uneasiness that weighed on his shoulders. 

He sighed deeply, trying to calm himself down. It didn’t feel real. None of this felt real. It was still dark out, it was too quiet, how did he know for sure that the Apocalypse was stopped? 

How could he ever know for sure?

He felt himself get up, watched his feet hurriedly walk to the bathroom, watched his hands mechanically turn on the faucet and run his fingers through the water. He looked at himself in the mirror, this time really looking.  
Honestly, he looked like shit, but that’s what a week and a half of constant, overwhelming stress on top of decades in a wasteland will do to someone. His own eyes stared back at him blankly, unblinking. 

_I stopped the Apocalypse._

It didn’t feel real. 

Five cupped water in his hands and bent over, splashing his face. He didn’t feel any better. If anything, he felt more tired than before, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any more sleep.  
Well. He might as well work on his equa-

_No. It’s over._

Was it over?

He stood aimlessly in the doorway to his room ( _when did he walk back there?_ ), clenching and unclenching his fists. If it was all over, why did he feel so numb?

4:07 AM stared threateningly from his desk, the red numbers mocking him. Red, like the blood on the eye in Luther’s stiff hand, red like Klaus’s haunted eyes, red like the fires that burned everything down and _scorched everyone-_

Five turned tail and jumped, tripping over his feet and landing on his ass in the courtyard. He brought his knees to his chest and tried to _breathe_ , because it was over, and the Apocalypse was never going to happen now, thanks to him, so _why did he feel like this?_

The cool night air was refreshing on his still-damp face.  
_There, see?_ he reminded himself. _It’s cool out, no fires._  
And he looked skyward, looked past the stars blinking comfortingly at him, and laid his sights on the moon. 

The moon. 

Something he quite frankly took for granted, and almost didn’t realize was gone in the first place. It had taken years of searching the sky to come to the conclusion that maybe it wasn’t just the ash and smoke covering the sky, maybe the moon was gone. And wasn’t that a funny thought? The moon, gone. How? Why?  
_It’s an entire celestial body, it can’t just disappear from the sky,_ he’d said to Dolores, way back then, staring up past the wreckage of the library.  
_Well where do you suppose it’s gone to, then?_ she’d snarked back, _because you’ve been looking up there for years._

Years. 

Years spent looking up, wondering, working, scraping by, trying to survive. Years spent desperately trying to claw his way back to his family, sentiment disguised as sarcasm and biting remarks. 

And he kept pushing them away. 

The moon looked back at him, and if he stared hard enough, it almost looked sympathetic. 

“Whatcha doing out here at this time of night, short stack?”

Five almost jumped out of his skin, at the last second schooling it into a hard flinch. He turned to look at Klaus, standing barefoot on the grass behind him. How could he let someone sneak up on him like that? What if that happened with someone far more dangerous? What if-

_Breathe._

It still didn’t feel real. 

“Five?”

Oh right. Klaus has asked him a question. What _was_ he doing out here? More importantly, what could he say that wouldn’t lead to worry, or even worse, pity?

Five looked away, back towards the moon. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” he said, trying to force his voice into nonchalance. He felt rather than saw Klaus move to sit beside him, and clenched his fists in the fabric of his sleeves. 

“Oh yeah, been there,” Klaus said, and his lazy voice sounded tired. Five glanced at him out of his peripheral, watching as Klaus mirrored him, staring up into space. 

He tried to unclench his fists, tried to breathe.  
He knew he was being stupid, logically he knew that, but logic wasn’t helping right now, and Dolores wasn’t here. 

Dolores wasn’t here but he’d stopped the Apocalypse and he was back with his family. He had literally everything he’d wanted. He still felt so numb. 

Klaus hummed lightly from beside Five, drawing his attention.

“Wow, look at that.” Klaus was smiling, for once looking relaxed despite his tired eyes. Five looked at Klaus, and the confusion must have shown on his vacant-feeling face because Klaus chuckled and pointed lazily at the horizon. 

“Sunrise, April 2nd,” he said, and Five felt light-headed. “You did it, buddy.”

He could hear the warmth in Klaus’s voice, saw the warmth crawling up the sky, felt the warmth in his chest as his breath hitched. 

_You did it._

He couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in his throat, a high incredulous sound that made Klaus whip his head around to stare in surprise. But he couldn’t stop laughing, couldn’t stop thinking about everything he’d had to do to get here that _wouldn’t even happen now, technically_ , couldn’t stop thinking about fire and ash and blood on his hands and how the solution ended up being so easy, so easy it frustrated him, couldn’t stop thinking about his family, and he’d been so cold _did they even want him back?_

His throat hurt. His face was wet. 

He realized, belatedly, he wasn’t laughing anymore. He was sobbing, drawing in useless gulping breaths and gripping his arms so tightly he was sure there’d be bruises later. 

God, how pathetic. 

Klaus made a sound full of an emotion Five couldn’t place, and laid a hesitant hand on Five’s shoulder that burned like an electric shock. Five couldn’t even begin to think what Klaus must think of him. He was supposed to be headstrong, confident, competent Five, but instead he was crying his heart out on the ground for no reason. 

He felt himself being pulled gently closer to Klaus, and let his head be maneuvered to lay on Klaus’s chest. He wondered if Klaus was doing this out of pity. Maybe he just couldn’t stand to see a kid (or at least, someone that looks like a kid) cry. He probably didn’t even care, and that on top of everything else made Five sob harder. 

_Don’t be stupid_ , said a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Dolores. _He’s your brother._

Klaus shushed him quietly, carding a hand through Five’s sweaty hair. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Klaus’s voice was so gentle, and sweet, and contained nothing but concern. No pity, no exasperation. Five could only shake his head helplessly and burrow deeper into his brother’s chest, letting himself be held. 

The sun was well over the horizon by the time Five had cried himself out, feeling its soft warmth on his face through the crook of Klaus’s elbow. He pulled himself out of Klaus’s hold, readjusting to slump against his brother’s side and lay his head on Klaus’s shoulder. It was bony, and honestly pretty uncomfortable. It felt like the best kind of familiar.

He watched the stars fade, replaced by the sun’s gentle rays, and he thought he could never think of the sun as gentle, not after those years of oppressive heat and burns. 

Maybe he could get used to this. Maybe it was okay to feel things again. 

Klaus shifted ever so slightly, bringing his hand up to softly wipe the lingering tears from under Five’s eyes. He brushed Five’s bangs out of his eyes and cupped his cheek with cold fingers, asking a silent question.

Five tried give him a smile in response. It was small, crooked, and felt like a grimace, but Klaus’s eyes brightened a bit and his hand drifted down to hold Five’s. 

The world wasn’t ending. 

It was all over. 

Maybe he could get used to this.

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone wants to yell abt umbrella acad then my tumblr is under the same name as here!
> 
> as always comments are appreciated and i’ll see y’all next time!


End file.
